Christmas Blues
by The Dream Guardian
Summary: Sam is longing for home sweet home with Christmas around the corner, but in charge of Atlantis she is as far as she can get form home. [OneShot]


_Author Notes:_ Well, I wrote this story before Christmas and one of my friend said she was going to beta read it for me but never did, so I had to find a new beta reader. I'd like to give a special thanks to Katie form SGX-8374, The Beta Directory (a wonderful site for help with you Stargate stories), for all her help. Well better late than never. I hope you enjoy and I would enjoy getting some feedback. So, post some reviews!

**Stargate Atlantis: Christmas Blues**

Leaning outside against the metal rail, Colonel Samantha Carter tried to let the warm breeze take away her frustrations. On the fading navy sky, a few sparkling stars emerged, heralding in the coming night. Combining with the soothing beating of waves far below, a sense of serenity filled the city of the ancients and this only helped to further her longing to return home.

With the warm weather, it was hard to believe it was Christmas Eve. Then again, it just didn't feel like Christmas Eve without the guys. Secretly, Samantha wanted Jack Frost to make a surprise visit, bring some pine trees and SG-1 with him. What she would do to go to Colorado Springs and look at the Christmas lights or listen to carols singers in the park. Here everything remained mostly the same, except for a few people's attempts to make the city a little more festive. Atlantis remained the city of Ancients.

"What are you up to?"

Turning she found John Sheppard standing a few feet behind her. Hoping to hide the sadness etched on her face, Sam force a smile on to her lips before answering, "I just stepped out to get some fresh air. Did you need something?"

"Nope, everything is going smoothly, for a change." He walked over to the rail, looking out at the sea. "Let's hope it lasts, we might just pull off an uneventful Christmas this time."

"Let's hope so. It would be nice to not have to worry about the Wraith or Replicators." At the mention of the Replicators, a wave of sadness washed over Shepperd's face, which caused him to look away for a moment. Stupid, Carter scold herself. The loss of Elizabeth was still too fresh and mostly likely made worse by her absence for the holiday, especial for John. Unsure what to say, an awkward silent fell over the two as they stood there, both covering up their true feelings.

"So how was the meeting with Dr. Wilson?" John's face held none of sadness as he looked back trying to clear the tension. "That bad." Samantha didn't hide her frown.

"He wasn't pleased with my decision, to say the least." Carter knew that was an understatement. The man had been furious when he stormed out of her office, claiming the military only cared about bigger and better guns.

Many had disliked the decision to switch the leadership of Atlantis over to the military and most would never accept it, but she couldn't change that. Wilson had claimed that Weir would have agreed to his idea and Carter was forced to remind him she wasn't Weir. It was like everyone keep reminding her that she wasn't Weir and their dislike of that. That was the one thing she couldn't change, no matter how much they wished it. She was gone, at least for now.

"Wilson is just Wilson. Anyways, Weir turned down all his ideas too."

"She did?" Carter felt a slight happiness rise in her.

"Yeah, oh and the Daedalus made contact. It should be here tomorrow morning. Sadly they're running behind schedule, so they won't make it back for the party."

"That's a shame. It would have been nice if the crew could have celebrated with us."

"Yeah, well I'll see you later. I have a few things I need to finish before the party."

"See you there." Sam gave him another fake smile as he walked away, but in secret she was only attending because she was obligate to do so. Christmas this year didn't have its appeal, not without the rest of SG-1.

Forcing herself to appear happy she headed inside, deciding to grab a few things before heading to her room. Passing the gate, her eyes caught sight of McKay in her office, clearly looking for her. Since he had his computer under his arm, she guessed it was work related. The last thing she wanted to deal with was McKay.

Deciding not to give McKay another chance to fight over her decision on his latest endeavor, she quickly ducked down a hallway deciding to hide until the party. Sam didn't want to turn Christmas Eve into a fight or die situation, which if anyone could do it, that would be McKay. Why did he always insist on turning some mysterious machine on in the middle of a happy event? Then again who was she to talk? How many times had she done exactly the same thing? More than she liked to admit.

Making her way back to her own room after an hour of wandering, she paused, catching sight of a very creepy looking reindeer head on someone's door. She couldn't place who's quarters it was, but thought the thing was god awful ugly and couldn't' decide if it was joke or actually supposes to look nice.

"Sam!" She let out a sigh, recognizing the nagging voices. Turning to face McKay, she gave him a smile that clearly didn't hide her anger by McKay's facial expression.

"Yes McKay?" She forced her voice not to sound too irritated as the man came to stand in front of her.

"I made some head way with that device, you know, the one found on PX-345?"

"Have you spent all day working on it? I told you we weren't turning it on until after Christmas." She gave him a hard look and he wiggled under it.

"Not all day, just five hours. Besides, I just ran some simple tests to discover what it does. I think- "

"You can turn it on later this week and give me the full report after Christmas." Turning, she left knowing it would turn into argument if McKay had the chance. "Until then leave it alone. Besides, shouldn't you be getting ready for the party, aren't you taking Katie?"

"Well yes, but-"

"McKay, I'll see you at the party. It has waited a thousand years; it can wait a few more days"

"I guess," He muttered as Carter fled, glad he didn't follow. Finishing up some paper work before getting ready for the party, Sam decided on a blue sweater, black slakes, and silver accessories. Rubbing the necklace between her fingers she looked into the mirror, a wave of sadness filled her.

The necklace had been a gift form Vala at last year's Christmas party. She laughed at the memory of Vala, who'd keep trying to get the guys to kiss her under the mistletoe.

On earth it would be nearly ten and the party would be in full gear by now. Jack had promise to come back for this year's party. She wondered if he kept good on his word. Not that it would matter. So far she hadn't found the same companionship here and most likely wouldn't due to being in the leadership role.

Reluctantly she left her quarters, heading to the cafeteria. As she grew closer she made out Christmas music. The room was packed as Sam entered; everyone for once was out of uniform and enjoying themselves. McKay had given everyone in charge a data pad that would send a message if anything came up. Hers was tucked into her pocket, hopefully it wouldn't be necessary.

As John had put it, they really didn't need anyone on call since everyone was present in the city, so if an emergency came up they could be ready in a moment's notice. Though some had been listed as on duty which meant no drinking, in case something, even as remote as it might seem, went wrong. John didn't want everyone intoxicated, earlier in the week he had made the remark, "Knowing our luck, the wraith will show up and everyone will be drunk or hung over."

After a little while of mingling, Sam found herself sitting alone, feeling much like a girl without a date on prom night. Glancing around, her eyes came to John and his team at a nearby table and a wave of sadness rushed over her. They were talking and laughing. It was like looking at a distorted SG1. Now she knew how an outsider looking in at SG-1 might feel. Many of the teams were that way, forged through combat and trust.

Catching sight of her, McKay waved to her and she gave him a friendly wave back. Watching the happy faces of the people as they sat at table sharing stories, laughing at jokes, exchanging gifts, or just talking, the feeling of being an outsider slowly crept in. Everyone seemed to be in cheerful mood besides her and maybe Sheppard, who was hiding his own sadness behind a smile.

Her eyes wondered to the dance floor as those people that were brave enough had begun dancing. Somehow Katie had managed to get McKay on the dance floor. They were far from a graceful pair but they did seem really happy. It still surprised her, his change. Back at home Sam wanted to throw McKay out an airlock, now he seemed almost tolerable, though still all too irritating.

"Hey McKay, Katie come here," John yelled over the noise. Glancing over he noticed the Colonel standing near one of the doorways.

"What do you want?" McKay asked, not moving from the dance floor.

"Just come here McKay." John had a mischievous grin from where he stood in the hallway.

"What?" McKay wore a slightly confused and irritated look as Katie dragged him over to the Colonel.

"Is that mistletoe?" John's eyes shot up above the door as the grin grew wider on his face.

"Ha, ha, really funny." McKay answered.

"Hey it a Christmas law, you have to kiss a pretty girl when she's under the mistletoe." John's face couldn't have held a bigger smirk if he had tired, as McKay's turn red.

"John." Katie gave him a shove to the shoulder.

"What?" The man asked innocently.

"It is wrong to not follow tradition." Teyla called from the table where she and Ronon sat laughing. Sam smile at seeing McKay become so nervous and agitated. McKay had noticed the few people who were watching and clearly didn't want to offend his date, but it was McKay. He quickly gave Katie a kiss, clearly enjoying it.

"Happy?" He shot, looking at John. The woman didn't seem offended, simply happy, clearly understanding he was only McKay after all.

"Yeah." John wore a simple grin as the three headed back over to the table.

"I am so going to get you for that," Sam barely heard McKay whisper to John as they passed her.

"Oh, I am so scared." John teased.

"Mind if I have a seat." Sam found Dr. Keller standing behind her. The woman had curled her hair and wore a simple blue dress.

"Sure thing, you look nice."

"Thanks, you too."

"Enjoying the party?" Sam asked.

"Yes, and you?,"

"It's wonderful."

"Really,  
because you look so lonely all by yourself." The woman gave a warm smile. "It hard being new, I haven't been here all that long, either and it's my first Christmas away from home. You know at times I am so blue and I feel like I am the only one."

"You're not, not that I'm going tell anyone else." Sam added in a low voice. The woman's face lit up with another smile.

"That's good to know." The two chatted as they ate their meals and Sam welcomed the company.

"I need some advice." Keller remarked after they finished eating.

"Shoot away."

"See I want to dance with this guy, but he's never going to ask me. So I was thinking of, well…"

"Asking him to dance?" Cater finish her sentence.

"Well yeah, I mean he's not going to do it."

"Would this man be a member of John's team?" Sam rested her chin on her hands as she studied the good doctor.

"Yes, how did you know that?"

"Oh I have my ways."

"Well, should I ask him?"

"I don't see the harm."

"What if he says no?" The doctor seemed to have turn into a school girl and Sam couldn't hide her smile.

"Then he doesn't like to dance, it's no big deal. You like him, don't you?"

"I think so, not that we have spent all that much time together. Our interests are slightly different. Oh, but you can't tell anyone!"

"My lips are sealed. Go on or you'll miss your chance." The woman hesitated, barely shooting a glanced at John's table.

"Get up or do you want me to order you to."

"No," she gave her a smirk, "Wish me luck!" Sam watched as Keller made her way reluctantly towards Sheppard's team. Finally the woman moved over to the table and took part in some ideal talking before turning her attention to her quarry. Sam couldn't hear what was being said but smiled as Ronon got up, following Keller on to the dance floor, while the team exchanged looks and quickly turned to conversation, most likely about what had just occurred.

Another hour slid by and Sam was outright bored. She never had been one for big parties, instead enjoying small close knit gatherings. In those situations, a person could truly be themselves in the presence of friends and family.

"Ma'am." She turned right finding Lorne standing next to the table.

"Having fun Major?" Sam asked.

"Yes, I am and you?"

"Yeah."

"I have a question, can I have the next dance?" Sam gave him a funny look.

"What?" The man attempted to put on an innocent face. "You've been sitting here all night, you haven't done anything. Anyway, it is rude that no one asked you to dance, just because you're in charge. So I'm asking. It's just for fun." She gave him a bright smile.

"I'd love to, Major," Sam said, getting up. She barely caught John shooting a look from where he sat at Lorne. A few others also watched the pair, but of course no one dared to say a thing about it and quickly diverted their attention.

"Thanks, for the dance." Sam gave Lorne a smile as the dance ended and both stepped to the side.

"My pleasure, hey some of us are planning some games for later tonight. You want play?"

"I don't know, I mean, won't it be…"

"Come on, Colonel Sheppard's team's got McKay. I need someone with brains on my team. Someone has got to put McKay in his place. He thinks he's already won the game." Sam let out a small laugh.

"Ok, tell me when and I'll be there"

"You won't regret it," He added, heading off to speak with one of his team members. The party slipped by without any incidents and Sam finally retired to her room well past midnight, feeling relaxed and happy for a change.

Beating McKay at taboo and a variety of other games had made her night. Though McKay continued to remind her that her team had the upper hand, since all their people were from earth. It'd been fun and she almost felt a little closer to being part of the group. The problem was Sam didn't think it would last; it was a party after all. Then again Lorne and Dr. Keller had tried very hard to make it clear she was part of the group. Maybe she just needed more time. She'd not felt part of SG-1 from the get go. Glancing at some photos as she got ready for bed, she picked up one with her friends in it.

"Hope you all had a great Christmas too," Sam whispered as she sat it down and slid under covers, realizing how tried she was going to be with only a few hours of sleep.

Early the next morning, Cater sat in the cafeteria eating her breakfast. The place had been cleaned up from the party last night and only a few others were present. Most would be crawling out of bed late today. She took a sip of coffee in an attempt to wake herself up.

"Cater, we have a problem. I need you in the north pier, east hall, floor six, ASAP," John's voice shout over the com.

"What's wrong?" Sam questioned, tapping her own com.

"I'll tell you when you get here, last room on the right." Sam wondered what could be going on. "Great," she muttered, getting up. She'd only been up for about an hour. What the hell could have gone wrong? She flew down the hallways and the city seemed peaceful enough. Finding her way to the room Sheppard had told her to meet at, she slid the door open.

"What's the…" She began.

"Surprise!" A course of voices filled the room. Turning left she was shocked at who stood there. It was none other than SG1 and Jack.

"Daedalus got in ten minutes ago." John bore a huge grin, "What you know, it had stowaways."

"We just wanted to know where you were. This was his idea." Jack wore a smirk as he looked at John.

"What are you doing, trying to get me in trouble?" John shot a hurt look at Jack. "What can I say, I love surprises." He gave Sam a smile as Vala rushed over giving Sam a hug. "Have fun, I'll call you, if you're needed."

"What are you guys doing here?" Cater said, holding back a wave of tears that threaten to spill out.

"It's been quiet at home, so we thought, what the hell what's Christmas without the whole team." Mitchell informed, giving her a hug.

"We have missed not having you around," Daniel added.

"Indeed." Teal'c roses an eyebrow, "If I am not mistaken Christmas is spent with family and friends, of which you are."

"The party's just not the same without you and girl's night has been so dull!" Vala added, giving her a dreadful look.

"God, this is the best Christmas gift I could ask for."

"Oh don't worry we brought gifts too." Vala wore a smirk.

"Lots of them, thanks to you." Daniel shot Vala a look

"Hey, how often do we get to spoil our friend who lives in another galaxy?"

"You just like to buy things," Daniel answered.

"That might be a tiny bit true."

"You didn't have to come all way out here. I mean you miss…" Sam began.

"Don't worry about it Sam, Merry Christmas." Jack gave her a hug.

And To All a Good Night


End file.
